International Children’s Drug Ring Busted

Group was raising money for summer camp

By Samuel Bates

This week the International Criminal Police Organization (INTERPOL) rounded up members of a drug smuggling organization that peddled a most unusual product.  A statement issued by INTERPOL detailed a lengthy investigation that culminated in the dismantling of this international criminal organization run entirely by children.  Due to prohibitive price increases at European summer camps, a group of ingenious children came up with an alternative way to fund their yearly summer trip.  The children discovered that crack cocaine makes an excellent sugar substitute when introduced to candy. 

The group began to market their “product” in a special form favored by local crack addicts, the now notorious Lakupiipu (Finnish for licorice pipe).  Police became alarmed when suddenly people of all ages began to act in  erratic ways. It became even more apparent that something was amiss these same people also developed a voracious appetite for a certain candy.  The following video illustrates a Finnish addict rejoicing in his recent acquisition of the tainted product:

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

The Finnish Government was the first to act by banning the imported licorice pipes in all forms.  To prevent a panic, the ban was publicized as a measure to help minimize the spread of smoking.  But by publicizing as such, customs was lax and smuggling became rampant.  It became necessary for INTERPOL to step in directly to break up the ring.  It was hoped that by disabling the main source of the product, that the problem would diminish.  Unfortunately it seems that copy-cat producers have already stepped in with alternative products.

The evil that can not be suppressed 

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